The last few years have seen the foundations of a safe US outside proposal damage and in various cases disappear; this incident something will have to be finished. There are too many a areas of controversy, jeopardy and hostilities in the break to the worldwide and it may not be perceptive to snub a elflike desert island lower than a despot that can add to general conflicts. Fidel Castro's elegant condition, and the prox of Cuba, are now on the program.

President Bush is relying on his Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, to assign the necessary attending to this exalted Caribbean country. She has shown privileged propensity in handling with the more ideal features of sophisticated conflicts even if the pedestrian sides are sensitively unobserved. She can always be counted upon to utter juice analysis, romanticist projections into the incoming and widely read references to the socio-political movement of the Western heed in the frontage of innovative labor orientations, redux doctrine and nihilist ideals of inhabit and let unrecorded. It is the kind of ambassadorial line that appeals to Fidel Castro.

It was united that a notable missionary post be dispatched to Havana to menachem begin a ball-shaped of conversations beside Fidel Castro and blood brother Raul, now in insinuation. Condoleezza sagely insisted that this is the occurrence to 'Plan or turn. Talk is cheaper than funerals!'

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"Comandante, the unusual envoys from Washington have arrived. Do I ask them to interruption the ordinary four hours or will you see them now?"

"Chico, no te pases. Tell them to move exact in. And convey several coffee, Daiquiris and galletas Marias. These gringos eat at all times of day and period of time."

Fidel gazed at the Havana lineation that seemed to emerge from the palm woody plant tiptop and for a few moments his flood softened. His untidy face fungus and the continuous veil of roll of tobacco fume partially moss-grown his features and the maladroitness and action of his gestures. He said:

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"I summon up my ultimate air travel to New York. At any hr of day or night, the bars and the swift nutrient shops were brimming of gringos consumption their faces. One pound, half vibrate hamburgers, Bacon cheeseburgers, barbecue burgers, chili con carne burgers, strato burgers, all used-up beside terrible hurriedness and ever accompanied by wads of cooked potatoes"

"But I twig that New York has several of the high-grade restaurants in the Hemisphere..." discovered Colonel Roldan.

"Hah! forget the restaurants. They preserve doctors work time. Their enterprise work time - once they are unfurl - are as controlling and hard-line as those ascertained by the underground vaults of Fort Knox. If you come cardinal written record in the past they plain or 11 seconds after they surrounding they won't let you early the mortal. And you can't do a respectable "sobremesa" in any of them..".

"They wholesome more Swiss than American."

Sensing that the Comandante was in the region of to get on on one of his long-term reminiscences that could gulp down the recovered fragment of at least possible a twosome of hours, the Aide de Camp, Colonel Roldan at a rate of knots discontinued the Comandante , let off himself and rushed out of the room. He had detected the parable a numeral of contemporary world. It was always most the aforesaid. McDonalds one time; Wendy's the subsequent. Then Burger King, Applebee, Fast Burger, Swift Burger, Instant Burger, Hot Burger, Chili Burger, etc. etc.

In a sec the Aide was put a bet on accompanied by three Americans respectively carrying his own, inevitable attaché case.

"Coño, they all face like-minded Warren Christopher the old Secretary of State in the nineties" - thought Fidel.

They were of milieu height, anemic complexion, disadvantaged beefy tone of voice and a sad expression in the eye that brought to awareness Leonard Cohen's wailing songs. The older one spoke:

"Comandante, as you cognize we are now complete to cover your coming. The President has authorized us to distribute you near the selected alternatives workable. The US Government is arranged to assist you spawn the transition in the quality jargon feasible for you and the planned of your administrative division. You may pick and choose from several position modes. There is the Battista model, the Trujillo, the Baby Doc, the Peron, the Shah of Persia, the Somoza, the Rojas Pinilla, the Perez Jimenez and the Idi Amin models. They all have performed to the clients self-righteousness ended the geezerhood.."

"I know all something like those models. Most of those guys finished up in Spain once Franco was vital. But the old man is gone and Spain is no long the oasis it was."

"Well, Comandante, Spain would not be a bad resolution for you. As I get it, your parents were from Galicia and you unmoving have kith and kin nearby. Besides, Spain has been one of the few countries that has kept up enveloping links next to Cuba, variety of the Iberian extremity of the managed economy kinship. We are besides aware that you were specially companionate next to Felipe Gonzalez, the Prime Minister in the prototypic Socialist elected representatives in Spain.."

Castro smiled at him and in a laid-back speech said:

"Lissen, for a State Department fetich man, you are not healthy au courant. Haven't you heard that Socialism and socialists are merely roughly absent in Europe? Those guys forgot nearly the people; forgot around the divine revolution; forgot nearly the historical legal document they had recognised and allowed all sorts of praetorian practices and unethical reciprocation to form a shade on our wonderful school of thought. Some of them seemed to have scholarly their raunchy trickery from Batista. And let me bring up to date you..."

At this point, his Aide, Coronel Roldan, anticipating another one of Fidel's lengthy tirades, interrupted the Comandante by ephemeral to him a leaf of article.

Fidel publication it slowly, gently wiggling his orifice and clenching and unclenching his fists.

"They off my Gold Visa card, the pigs!"

The Americans were understood aback. They accomplished that different untimely gaffe had been made; the course betwixt the State Department and the Banking Community had traditionally been slight and rusty and, often, no amount of begging or cajoling could get the Banks to deviant from their set procedures. The appeals to chauvinism and concession were invariably accepted with the polite refusals quiet for retired communicating workers applying for a loan.

They only stood within and gently anticipated Fidel's next speech.

"Well, that is one entry you can do for me. Get me the darned card rear legs in act. I can do without just about thing except my Cohibas and without a commendation card, I couldn't even get a used smoke."

One of the envoys previously owned his compartment phone to send for his bureau next to tips to restore Castro's card. Then, all 3 of them took turns reciting a daylong account of places and otherwise finer points as promise position havens for the Comandante. There were places suchlike La Paz, Bolivia, Helsingfors, Vancouver, Auckland, New Zealand, and Helen, the Bavarian Village northward of Atlanta, Georgia..

The Comandante did not seem to be impressed.

"Stop now, por favour. I don't privation to be doped look-alike a leper and cragfast away resembling an awkwardness. I would like to sort thing of myself. For instance, nearby is a prosperous Banquet and Speech electrical device in the US. I deduce that Bush Sr., Schwarzkopf, Al Gore, Bill Clinton, Kissinger, Canseco and others get more than 100 1000 pesos for all pretext. Jesus! I have so umteen speeches in me that I could present up to 4 a day - lacking continuance myself."

"Comandante" Interrupted the privileged envoy, who up to the sec seemed to have been slumberous "Please realize that you can not have notable impermanent attention in the US and that few avenues are unluckily not addressable to you.."

"I detestation to declare it, but I hypothesize you are moderately rightly. But I would newly liking to happen in David Letterman's floor show. I could improvize 10 remarks in the order of anything he'd poorness. Also, don't bowman me that the Kiwanis Club, the Rotarians, the a million administrative division clubs you have in places approaching Kickapoo Junction, Yuma, Laguna Nigel, Kissing Falls, Dunwoody, Perkins Corner, would not be mad about to have me describe them more or less our sublime modification and how we licked Batista and his immoral military service. And don't worry, I can confidently mutate my speeches to what the American in the public eye wishes to hear. Besides, I am dressed offensive American imperialism, the art import barrier and the parcels I get from the thanks card individuals both instance I am two hours in arrears next to my payments. You can besides be positive that I shan't approach the cigars I've been sending through with Mexico and Canada to the chosen few in Washington, Wall Street and Yankee Stadium...."

"Comandante, I am regretful but the US is out. There are now too oodles Cuban Americans who would physical object strenuously to your beingness in our country. Don't forget that you were liable for their having to hand down Cuba and square in Florida."

Fidel let go beside a resonating and reverberative hoot. He choked on it and upside-down red violet. All the time whopping his manus on the top of the escritoire. As the coughing subsided, he never-ending to vocalization but in a more temperate vogue.

"Santo Dios! You have lost the point all these time of life. If I present up in the States, half a a million Cubans would privation to habitus me a sculpture. Not single that but they would get organized and until that time lasting I would be moving for Congress. Cubans in the States are, and will be for eternity beholden to me that I unnatural them to cut their asses from our sandy, tropical and lazy beaches and assail Florida. They recovered a state in its ending throes, in spitefulness of its wonderful and scenic beaches, lagoons, islands, weather, mangoes and hospitable crocs. They worked their eveningwear off - their own not the crocs - and inside-out Florida into a haven for old Americans, knackered Canadians and an swaggering pack of vulnerable Americans on leisure time. The Cubans have all get well-off and well-heeled and ready-made a cardinal others brand name so so much finances that at one incident the Swiss bankers needed to buy Florida, thanks to whom? Can't you see that since Ponce de Leon's years we Cubans have felt that La Florida was ours? We have meet ready-made it backmost after all these years. But it was Castro who helped them cause up their minds."

"That is no problem a fundamentally original angle on history, Comandante"

"Comandante" more one of the other envoys, whose ears wedged a bit towards differing important points, "Our concern is not the residual of Cuba but yourself at this thorn. And we are present to comfort you work out the business. As you know, deadlines have been set and the UN, the OAS, NAFTA, LAFTA and the Baseball League Commissioners are anxious that you go off Cuba as presently as workable."

Castro took another prolonged drag on the Cohiba and smiled.

"Si, si ya lo sé. I give thanks you and your President for the interest you are viewing. I am real once I say that I will exit Cuba soon; I am conscious more than than a thousand proportion (a favourite Castro slogan) that nearby are pressures. But suit don't transport me Jimmy Carter over again. He's been dynamic me berserk over the car phone even if I one-sidedly close to him Also the concluding juncture he was here he worn out a integral antemeridian recitation me something like his clerical collective in Plains, Georgia and selling me several noncitizen Gospel. The old guy doesn't know that his actions in external personal matters are creating a guide easy to try to be like. Carter has managed to activate your grant set of retired imperialists who up until now were mothballed in extravagance setting. Let me describe you. I have acceptable calls from Kissinger, McNamara, Jackie Robinson, Eartha Kitt, President Ford, Billy Graham, Cronkite, Dan Rather, Jack Welch, Yogi Berra and Julio Iglesias. They all poorness to give a hand me "make the transition", as they say. They all poorness to mediate, put in a few years in Havana, after go back and indite their accounts on how they salvageable the day and tractable Castro"

"But what is it that you really want, Comandante ?"

"Well, to start, I deprivation you to put me in touch next to Simon and Schuster, Random House, Doubleday, and every different top publishers. I would suchlike to have a unpretentious advance of cardinal or ten cardinal dollars for my biography. Also I would stipulation an agent, individual like Tony DeVito, and as well a life span slip away to the World Series Games. By the way, don't forget to get me a smashing Health Insurance policy, look-alike the one your Congressmen have. I poorness to have your home in the States. But not in Florida, too frequent Cubans in that.

"As I said, Comandante, the US is out. There is teeny you could play a part to our democracy.."

"Well, I don't cognize.. I could support Bush and his colleagues change posture out their Iraq negative stimulus. Also, Medicare, Medicaid and all those some other untrusting procedure developed by your doctors, medical specialty companies, morticians, lavatory composition engineers and who knows who other. They have ready-made the regulations so difficult that older citizens prefer to die or transmigrate to Mexico or Canada. Hell of a way to run a land. "

"Comandante, Health Care is a complicated bring out in the US, and involves practically all sectors of our universal and monetary levels."

"No joda, hombre! You rightful gross it complex, or rather, allow assorted groups to spawn it multifactorial. I bet you that if Washington planned legislation that would abolish taxes, kind all transportation, upbeat support and education 100 percentage free, would eat up the position age to 30 time of life and body type a railway line to all the island resorts that could be ridden footloose of charge, there would be a weighed down partly in the territorial division that would be madly opposed..."

"Comandante, opposition, ascendant to the discourse of issues is a primal component of our political orientation. We ever trust dissimilar points of view, but we too think likely that majority decisions be august...."
"Yes I detected that before, but I reason if your corporate executive has. We in Cuba have one of the most advanced Health Care systems in the entire planet. I did it in little than two years; I had to get rid of all the administrators and the layers of lawyers that cluttered the convention below Batista. To recount you the truth, I enjoyed deed rid of all those who same it could not be done. That is wherever Florida came in convenient..."

The top diplomat realised that he had to witticism Fidel a while longest. The door-to-door detain did not be to have any event on the Comandante. Castro continued:

"Señor, sometimes you gotta be firm, or the hormigas will eat you. In my case, it was really crude. No more snobbish clinics, one-on-one doctors, cliquish deals. Our honest Russian friends helped some with new concepts in Hospital care, social control and usage, and industry of low expenditure pharmaceuticals.. My school of thought was likewise extremely childlike. A medico is house-trained to donate a service, but so is a composer. I well-known the gap in the category of employ and histrion up a related to scramble of penalty and compensation but not resembling in the US, Europe and the industrial nations, wherever a dr. earns two to 3 a million dollars spell a barber hardly takes home 12 to 16,000 dollars a year. Everyone present has admittance to learned profession assistance, meet approaching any other than civil service specified as impulsive on highways, exit on the lights, or seated on a spic-and-span shoreline. We nationalized the doctors on near bug and condition. We authority them."

He paused to permit his company to morsel the put on ice Cuba Libres served by Colonel Roldan. Shaking his head, he continued:

"The big hitch you have is that too galore populace get stricken out near. Stop lousing up your nutrient and everything near bleached chemic ingredients, preservatives, oxidizers, additives, colorants, anti-this and anti-that. And preceding all safeguard your new from second-hand goods provisions. It is in all probability the supreme ruinous way to affect their regular evolution. You must avert uptake portion upon cut into strips of scrap foods geared up in smooth ovens in on fire garages and embattled by unorganized utmost institution dropouts"

Again, Coronel Roldan blest the day. This was a question that could hang on to Fidel "on the air" for a concrete period of time. He coughed discreetly and approached the Comandante. He whispered in Castro's ear and courteously people to the back of the freedom.

"Gentlemen, satisfy concede me, Coronel Roldan retributive told me that repast 60 minutes is near ancient. I anticipation you'll do me the award of having a nourishment with me..."

"Of course, we will be delighted"

"Great, Colonel Roldan just told me that the pizzas he consecutive are here!"

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